9.21.2011

Awakening: “The Spirit is Willing” (Day 5)


“And I know that nothing good lives in me, in my sinful nature.  I want to do what is right, but I can’t.  I want to do what is good, but don’t.  I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.  But if I do what I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.”  Romans 7:18-20

As I finish day 5 of fasting I am even more aware of the internal battle that exists inside of me; the fight between right and wrong, darkness and light, selfishness and selflessness.  I can relate to the words of Paul as he struggles to follow the better path.  This is the good fight.  But as I enter into a better place and exercise the spiritual discipline of fasting I am sensing that God is near.  I can feel the peace of His presence and the assurance that He is near. 

Looking back to my youth, I remember the dreams and hopes that at times seemed naive to an adult with responsibilities.  As I make space and listen to His voice, those thoughts and dreams are returning.

Today I read through the genealogy of Noah in Genesis 10.  Listed there are generations and generations of people who have come and gone.  Some were noted for their accomplishments or character while others were just listed names.  It made me think of my genealogy.  I am Michael, son of Patrick, son of Robert, whose father we do not know.  Three generations from now what will my great grandson or granddaughter know of me?  What will last?

Tonight as I think about this, I hope what will last is heart.  I hope that I am described as “Michael, who listened to the still small voice of God and had the courage to follow it.  He loved those around him the way Jesus loved and he walked in the light.”  What else will last?  More important, do I have the courage to choose the better way?

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